Hi everyone, Fran here with your Tango Tip of the Week. "Okay, let's see, I'm supposed to start with a side step, no, maybe it was forward ... okay, I go outside partner here with my right foot, then maybe I start turning, no, not yet, I take another step ... or I ... uh ... what's she doing. That's not right; you're supposed to -- don't you know this step? It's that thing we did in class two weeks ago! You're not moving fast enough. Oh yeah, you weren't in that class. Okay, just follow ... come on, faster!"

Does this little scene sound familiar? Is there anything not wrong with what's going on here? Obviously, our leader is attempting to remember his part of a memorized figure he sort of learned during a class. He doesn't seem to have clue one about how to lead it (Lead? What's lead?). But he does know that he wants his partner to hurry up and do her part -- whatever that is -- so he can get this show on the road.

Oh yeah.

By this time in our relationship, you know that I think all -- I mean all -- social dancing demands a very sophisticated, very intense, very practiced level of lead/follow skill. In Tango, it's absolutely indispensable. The idea of memorizing a sequence, and then expecting your follower to kind of just do her part by herself is, well, it's ... performing. Yes, this is what performers do, right? Choreography. Each person in the partnership memorizes their part; then they count to four and do it at the same time. (Yes, yes, I know there's more to it than that -- leave me alone, I'm making a point here.) The sequence may look great on stage -- but it's not, not, most definitely not social dancing at all.

You get that, don't you? I mean, come on.

So there you are on the dance floor, trying to get things going with your partner (I mean dancing things, of course). What's the first thing you do? Do you grab a complicated, showstopper figure from your vast memorized repertoire, and whiz her through it, hoping for the best ("Let's go, move faster!")?

No, that's not the first thing you do!! Instead, you very gently, very carefully, very communicatively, lead, invite, suggest, encourage her to take a single step -- how about something easy for starters -- let's say, a step to the side.

·      And as she responds by taking that side step -- and you notice that she's doing what you've asked her to do, because you're actually paying attention to her -- you accompany her with a side step of your own.

·      And at the end of that single step, you bring yourself into perfect balance.

·      And while you're bringing yourself into perfect balance, you leave your partner alone so that she can also bring herself into perfect balance.

·      And you notice -- because once again, you're paying very careful attention to her -- that she's been successful in finding her balance.

·      And only then -- only when both of you are balanced and ready for whatever the next element might be do you even start to think about the possibility of leading her to take another step.

See that? This is what we do in lead/follow dancing. Everything happens in increments of one. This is the crucial process that makes Tango possible. If right now you suddenly launch yourself into the next movement -- before she's balanced and ready -- (come on, go faster!) -- the whole dance just goes all to hell, and it becomes a wrestling match with you dragging her around like a rag doll. (She can't wait for the dance to be over, so she can get as far away from you as possible, and decide whether to ever dance with you again. No kidding.)

Here's something I tell my students all the time: Your dance is her dance. Basically, this means that you've got a living, breathing, finite human being in front of you, when you dance -- not a robot. You ask for a single movement through your (we hope well developed) skill as a leader. She responds by taking the step you asked for through her (we hope also well developed) skill as a follower. Once you've both gotten successfully to end of that single movement, and your good judgment tells you she's ready, you repeat the process with another invitation.

This is lead/follow dancing. 

"Yeah, but what if the music is really fast (sputter, sputter), and she just can't keep up?" Okay, now, take a nice deep breath. Here's where you have to make a big decision. What's more important, a pleasurable, satisfying social interaction between you and your partner, or an unnecessarily rigid adherence to a musical tempo that obviously doesn't work for her? (That's right, I'm loading the dice here.) Always, always, always choose the comfort of your partner over a blind adherence to the speed of the music -- and your great munificence will reap many rewards.

Choose the music, and you'll find that you're spending a lot of time alone.

Please join Fran and Pat for our Saturday Practica at Pearl Studios, 500 8^th Avenue (between 35^th and 36^th Streets; 2-4pm, $10 per person. (Bringing a partner isn't necessary.) Fran and Pat will be on hand to answer any questions you may have about your dancing, and to help you with material you're working on. If you’d like a private lesson, call Fran directly at 212-662-7692, or email him at franchesleigh@mac.com. For the practice, all you have to do is arrive with $10 and your dance shoes in hand.

The following folks helped set up, break down and clean up before and after the milonga. Without them, there would be no Firehouse Tango.

• Sydney St. James
• Elena Titova
• Steve Maisch
  
• Jesse Barton
  
• Lynn Gross
  
• And a very special thank you to my very special daughter, Jeanette Winton, up for the weekend, who came to say hello to everyone and to help with cleaning