Hi everybody, Fran here with your Tango Tip of the Week. During our last Tip, Pat treated us to her perspective regarding how a single woman arrives at a typical milonga and prepares herself for an evening of dancing. Today, we're going to talk about what happens next -- specifically, how a man and woman interact in the milonga environment in order to dance together.

Everything begins through a well-established, very practical ritual called el cabeceo.

El cabeceo -- the nodding of the head.

Before describing this somewhat complex convention in detail, let's back up for a moment. If a man approaches a woman directly at a milonga, let's say, by going over to her table and asking her to dance, such behavior is looked upon as an affront and an insult. Her mandatory response in such an instance will be nothing other than "no, thank you," followed by looking away in order to avoid any further contact. (Sometimes, predatory men may inflict themselves in this way on a foreign women who isn't familiar with the codes in the milonga; but they would never think of engaging in such impropriety toward an Argentine woman.)

In the USA, of course, our mode of behavior is precisely the opposite. If you want to invite a woman to dance, you approach her directly and say "may I have this dance?" or "would you care to dance?" If she consents, you make your way to the dance floor and enjoy at least one dance together. If for any reason she refuses your invitation, you walk back to your own seat, trying not to feel hurt or insulted by her very public rejection.

In Argentina, by contrast, this potentially uncomfortable -- to an Argentine man, often disastrous --moment just doesn't happen -- due entirely to the face-saving convention of el cabeceo.

Here is a description of how it works. In Argentina, generally speaking, single men and women are seated on opposite sides of the dance floor. When a man is interested in dancing with a particular woman, he attempts to make eye contact with her across the floor by staring at her. If she is interested in dancing with him, she stares back. (In this case, staring is not considered impolite as it might be here in America, but is actually essential to the process.) If she is not interested, she looks away, or simply avoids eye contact.

Once eye contact has clearly been established, the man nods at his potential partner. She nods back. This is el cabeceo. It consists of a very slight movement of the head (la cabeza) in order to indicate agreement and acceptance of the invitation.

Having successfully established contact, the man and woman come together on the dance floor, and -- if all goes well -- enjoy a series of dances, after which the man returns his partner to her table, thanks her politely, and the same ritual begins again in the search for the man's next potential partner.

What I've just described is what occurs, when everything goes according to plan. However, things occasionally don't work out quite that way. Next week, I'll discuss some of the things that can go wrong, sometimes resulting in very unintended consequences. In the meantime, give el cabeceo a try during your next milonga or practica. Maybe this traditional Argentine technique of choosing a partner will work well for you.

See you next week.

The following folks helped set up, break down and clean up before and after the milonga. Without them, there would be no Firehouse Tango.

• Adrienne Burton - Candy
• Jack Block - Fruit Platter
• Eva Roth - Hearts of Palm Salad
• Elena Syrett - Pie
• Syd - serving pieces
  

• Barbara Lombardi
  
• Adrienne Burton
  
• Bill Auer
  
• George Ngo
  
• Irene Andrews
  
• Gene Makogons
  
• Mike Casale
  
• Camille
  
• Bob Brillo
  
• Jack Messing
  
• Rafael & Hilda
  
• Edna Negron
  
• Eduardo Campos