Hi everybody, Fran here with your Tango Tip of the Week. Today I'm going to discuss a few of the important elements of behavior you should be aware of -- and that you should definitely put into practice -- in order to fit in well on the dance floors of Buenos Aires.
Getting the ball rolling
It is customary for milonga patrons to reserve a table in advance before attending an event. This can easily be handled by your hotel. If you arrive at a milonga without a reservation -- or even if you have one -- wait for your host to seat you. Never simply try to find a seat by yourself.
If you as a woman arrive at the milonga with your partner, and sit with each other, don't expect anyone else in the room to ask you for a dance. Argentine men will always avoid making contact with an accompanied woman out of respect. The current (long-standing) tradition at the milonga is that unaccompanied people dance with one another; couples dance only with each other.
If you're a woman, and a man approaches you directly, recognize that this is considered insulting in Argentina. Your appropriate response to such behavior is to simply ignore that person entirely, or say "No gracias" and then turn away.
On the other side of this equation -- as a man, the custom in Argentina is to use el
cabeceo whenever you want to invite a woman to dance. Never approach a woman directly.
In the USA it is fast becoming more common -- and more acceptable -- for a woman to invite a man to dance (although many women in this country still feel uncomfortable about this practice). In Argentina, however, women never invite men to dance. This behavior may change in time, but as of now, it is the
accepted practice.
Rules of the road
These are a few tips for men (leaders), when dancing Tango. They absolutely apply at the milongas of Argentina, and fall under the heading of "best practices" when dancing anywhere:
When entering the la pista (dance floor) before dancing begins, you can place yourself and your partner anywhere there's room. On the other hand, when entering while a dance is in progress, always try to position yourself on a corner, if it is practical. This helps to insure that you disrupt the flow of movement as little as possible.
Your first step as you begin dancing should almost always be to the side (rather than forward or backward). Milongas in Argentina are routinely very crowded, and a step to the side is the least potentially dangerous move a leader can make.
In starting a dance, never -- never, never -- begin by stepping backward. This puts
everyone behind you in serious danger. Furthermore, as the dance progresses, avoid backward steps except in extreme circumstances. If you must step backward for any reason, it is not your partner's responsibility to prevent you from stepping backward without thinking. Always -- always, always -- be absolutely certain to look behind you first to make sure you won't risk colliding with other dancers.
Always pay careful attention to couples in front of you and your partner. Try your best to notice their habits while they dance. If one or more of the leaders ahead of you is dancing dangerously, give him and his partner a wide berth.
If your dance is based on improvising one step at a time, your chances of avoiding accidents will be
greatly reduced. On their other hand, if you're constantly trying to remember and execute memorized sequences you picked up in your dance lessons, the chances of crashing into other people is significantly increased. Your job is to avoid sending your own partner crashing into the woman in front of you on the dance floor at all costs. And at times, even under ideal circumstances, this can be very tricky.
When accidents occur -- and, believe me when I tell you that they absolutely will -- always try your best to acknowledge them by saying "sorry," "disculpe," "lo siento," or something appropriate (here's where those Spanish lessons will pay off) in order to diffuse the potential anger which might be caused by such occurrences. You should do this whether or not you were the cause of the incident. Never simply ignore a problem that occurs, or, worse, glare at the
other couple as if to blame them for their obviously inappropriate behavior.
The flow of movement on the dance floors of Argentina is counterclockwise, just as it is here in the USA. Because the dance floors are generally very crowded, it is common for there to be not one, but two -- and sometimes three -- concentric lines of dance. Once you've chosen the outside, middle, or inside line -- or had it chosen
for you by circumstances -- stick to it throughout the dance. Don't weave between one line of dance and another, even if you notice that others seem to be doing this. This is inappropriate behavior.
Traditionally, Argentine people dance very simply. The overall objective of a given dance is to enjoy an intimate experience with one's chosen partner for the duration of a complete tanda -- not to
showcase your latest YouTube-derived stage-Tango material. Unless you're suddenly invited to perform (which, trust me on this, you won't be), please don't try anything "fancy." This kind of behavior marks you not as a superstar, but as a menace.
As mentioned last week, don't start dancing to individual songs within the tanda just as the music begins -- as we tend to do in the USA. In Argentina, it
is customary to wait 15 to 20 seconds before beginning a new dance. During this time, you're supposed to chat amiably about inconsequential frivolities (or whatever). Here again is where those intensive Spanish lessons will come in handy. Otherwise, smile and nod politely, and this should to the trick. If you're not used to the practice of waiting to start the new dance, watch what others around you are doing, and eventually you'll get the hang of it.
Endgame
At the conclusion of a tanda (usually four Tangos, three Valses, or three Milongas), it is customary for the man to politely escort his current partner back to her table. (If you're a couple, you will, of course, return to your seats together.) It is looked upon as
rude to simply walk away, leaving one's partner stranded in the middle of the floor.
Sometimes, a woman may find it necessary to abandon a partner during the middle of a tanda. There are, of course, many possible reasons for this, but once in a while, ladies, you gotta do what you gotta do -- in order to get yourself away from an offensive partner as quickly as possible. Bear in mind here that
this is the ultimate insult to an Argentine man, and you should try not to walk away just because his tie is on crooked. But if he causes serious offense, you owe it to yourself to be brave, and walk away. If this results in him leaving the milonga in great embarrassment -- as he almost certainly will -- you've done the rest of the women in the room a real favor.
As a man, on the other hand, it is
not chivalrous, and never appropriate to abandon a woman in the middle of a tanda. Even if she turns out to be a nightmare as a dancer, you made your choice, and now it's up to you to fulfill your responsibility. Grin and bear it, my friend. You only have two or, at most, three dances left before you can head for the bar, and get yourself a stiff drink.
Oh yes, and one more thing: Don't ever --
ever, ever -- teach on the dance floor. Not in Argentina, not in the USA, not anywhere. Never, ever.
Whew. I feel so much better now.
